Spes Magna Games

First up, a sales pitch for Spes Magna’s newest product and second release for the fifth edition of D&D:

Glory draws nigh! Grab your shield and axe! Defend dwarvenkind against your ancient foes!

Old School meets New School in The Dwarf. Now you can relive the glory days of the World’s Greatest Roleplaying Game, back when a dwarf was a dwarf instead of a dwarf fighter or rogue or whatever. The Dwarf presents a complete race-as-class that includes two new subraces, three new archetypes, and three new backgrounds, all for a mere $2 US.

Speaking of 5E, Dangerous Monsters over on Patreon welcomed four new monsters this past weekend. I hoping Dangerous Monsters 3 will go out to patrons by Easter.

Next up, how about a quick movie review of Leprechaun: Origins? It’s 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Here’s the official trailer. Watch it carefully. Who didn’t you see? That’s right. You didn’t see Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun. You don’t even see a leprechaun. Let’s face facts. No one can label any of the movies in the Leprechaun franchise as “good”. They’re all horrible, but at least some of them are memorable and entertaining in a way that one might not want to admit. In short, as horrible as the Leprechaun franchise is, Leprechaun: Origins is worse. Seriously. Leprechaun: Origins is dull, shrill, repetitive, and includes about 11 minutes of end credits punctuated by shots of someone off camera with a flashlight spotlighting the movie’s props because, gosh darnit!, I really loved that toolshed interior the first time it showed up in the film.

Rather than watch Leprechaun: Origins, just watch the trailer while swabbing a nostril with a Q-Tip dipped in Tabasco. It’s just as unpleasant, but is over in a fraction of the movie’s actual running time.

And now, it’s time to revisit the wonderfulness that is The Black Hack with a quick trip into the Gloaming Cave.

The Gloaming Cave gapes in a low hillside not far from a sluggish creek somewhere in Razorleaf Wood. Few travel too deep into that accursed forest, and not only because of the skulking greenteeth and mobs of arboreal spider-kobolds. Razorleaf Wood conceals many hazards both natural and supernatural.

No one says with accuracy where the Gloaming Cave waits because it doesn’t seem to stay in one place. Characters searching for the Gloaming Cave must contend with its penchant for not being where it’s supposed to be. Each Day of travel in Razorleaf Wood looking for the Gloaming Cave requires rolling the d6 On the Trail Usage die. Any result other than 1-2 with the On the Trail Usage die results in an encounter. Select a monster or monsters whose HD total the die result. On a 1-2, the characters draw closer to the Gloaming Cave, and the On the Trail Usage die is downgraded one step. When the On the Trail Usage die is used up, the characters find the Gloaming Cave.

The Gloaming Cave hates light. Even on the brightest day, sunlight penetrates the cave no more than a Nearby distance. Most of the time, sunlight reaches no farther than Close. After that, lightless black reigns. In the Gloaming Cave, Flasks of Oil and Torches have a d4 instead of a d6 Usage die. Even magical Light may fail; treat such spells as if they had a d6 Usage die.

The cave’s malevolent magic plays tricks with the senses. WIS saves to avoid sensory confusion are made with Disadvantage. Of course, the undead shadows lairing in the Gloaming Cave are immune to these effects.

Whether it is true that blind cultists interred Senka, that infamous shadow sorcerer, within the Gloaming Cave has yet to be confirmed. If the Gloaming Cave hides Senka’s tomb, it seems likely that his final resting place remains unplundered. Who knows what fantastic treasures may remain undisturbed?

Greenteeth
Silent, well-camouflaged, its wide mouth full of fangs, the greenteeth skulks at the water’s edge, waiting patiently for a victim to drown and devour.

Hit Dice: 3
Damage: 2d4 (4)
Special: WIS saves to detect the greenteeth while it hides are made with Disadvantage. If it inflicts damage, it grabs its victim, who must make a STR save to avoid being dragged under the water.

Tags: 5E D&D, monsters, place of power, The Black Hack

The bake-kujira, the curse of the whale, seeks to bring famine, plague, and other disasters to coastal communities. It appears as a huge skeleton of some great fish or whale, invariably accompanied by a host of strange birds and fish.

Ghost or Demon? Stories differ about the bake-kujira’s origin. Some claim the monster is the vengeful spirit of a butchered whale, while others declare the bake-kujira is a demon from some hellish abyssal ocean. Whatever the truth, the bake-kujira displays a number of seemingly contradictory abilities. It is both incorporeal and immensely strong. It swims through the water as well flies through the air. It combines potent innate spellcasting with crushing physical attacks.

Guardian or Destroyer? The bake-kujira usually brings doom to coastal communities near its lair. It ruins crops, sinks boats, and burns homes. Residents of afflicted communities who abase themselves sufficiently may purchase a measure of mercy and even protection from the bake-kujira. The cost for the bake-kujira’s sufferance is high, however, and the monster delights in demanding ever greater outrages be performed in its honor.

Bake-Kujira
Huge undead, chaotic evil

Armor Class 15
Hit Points 102 (12d12+24)
Speed 0 ft., fly 40 ft. (hover), swim 60 ft.
Ability Scores STR 19 (+4), DEX 14 (+2), CON 15 (+2), INT 8 (-1), WIS 16 (+3), CHA 14 (+2)

Saving Throws Con +6, Wis +7
Skills Perception +7
Damage Resistances acid, fire, lightning; bludgeoning and slashing from nonmagical attacks; piercing from magical attacks
Damage Immunities cold, necrotic, poison; piercing from nonmagical attacks
Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, grappled, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, prone, restrained
Senses blindsight 120 ft., passive Perception 17
Languages Abyssal, Primordial, telepathy 120 ft.
Challenge 10 (5,900 XP)

Echolocation. The bake-kujira can’t use its blindsight while deafened.

Incorporeal Movement. The bake-kujira can move through other creatures and objects as if they were difficult terrain. It takes 5 (1d10) force damage if it ends its turn inside an object.

Innate Spellcasting. The bake-kujira’s innate spellcasting ability is Wisdom. It can innately cast the following spells, requiring no components:

At will: flaming sphere, fog cloud, thunderwave
3/day each: gust of wind, sleet storm, wind wall
2/day each: blight, control water, ice storm
1/day each: contagion (Spell Attack Bonus: +7), insect plague

Keen Hearing. The bake-kujira has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on hearing.

Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If the bake-kujira fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead.

Turn Resistance. The bake-kujira has advantage on saving throws against any effect that turns undead.

Actions

Multiattack. The bake-kujira makes two attacks: one with its bite and one one with its tail.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 21 (5d6+4) piercing damage.

Tail. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 16 (5d4+4) bludgeoning damage.

Legendary Actions

The bake-kujira can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. The bake-kujira regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.

Innate Spellcasting (Costs 3 Actions). The bake-kujira can use its innate spellcasting ability.

Psychic Attack. The bake-kujira chooses a living creature it can sense within 120 feet of it. The creature must make a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw against this attack, taking 21 (6d6) psychic damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Sonic Boom (Costs 2 Actions). Each creature within 20 feet of the bake-kujira must make a DC 16 Constitution saving throw against this burst of sound, taking 17 (5d6) thunder damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

A Bake-Kujira’s Lair

The bake-kujira lairs in flooded sea caves or deep sea trenches. The water near its lair is always colder than surrounding waters, and the waves above its lair are choppy, tossed by gusting winds beneath scudding, dark clouds. Flocks of bizarre birds and schools of strange fish live in the region around the bake-kujira’s lair.

Lair Actions

On initiative count 20 (losing initiative ties), the bake-kujira takes a lair action to cause one of the following magical effects:

* A strong current moves through the bake-kujira’s lair. Each creature within 60 feet of the bake-kujira must succeed on a DC 16 Strength saving throw or be pushed 60 feet away from the bake-kujira. On a success, the creature is pushed 10 feet away from the bake-kujira.

* Beasts arrive to defend the bake-kujira. In the water, four swarms of quippers arrive. Above the waves, sixteen swarms of ravens arrive. Otherwise, treat this lair action as conjure animals, to include the requirement for concentration.

* The water in the bake-kujira’s lair becomes uncannily cold. All creatures within 120 feet of the bake-kujira must succeed on a DC 16 Constitution saving throw, taking 10 (3d6) cold damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Regional Effects

The region around a bake-kujira’s lair is warped by the unnatural presence of the monster, creating the following magical effects:

* The weather and water currents in a 6-mile radius centered on the bake-kujira’s lair becomes unstable and hostile. The weather is always 1d4x10 degrees Fahrenheit colder than normal. When rolling to determine wind and precipitation, treat results less than 13 as 13 (see DMG, p. 109). Checks made related to swimming, navigation, et cetera, are made with disadvantage in the area of effect.

* Aquatic and avian creatures within 6 miles of the lair that have an Intelligence score of 2 or lower are charmed by the bake-kujira and aggressive toward intruders in the area.

If the bake-kujira dies, these effects fade immediately.

Tags: 5E D&D, monsters, place of power

Woke up early this morning (like I do pretty much every morning ever), and so I watched No Estamos Solos, a Netflix import from Peru. While this movie doesn’t cover any ground not already covered dozens of times by better movies, it does feature some decent performances by Marco Zunino (as Mateo, the papa); Fiorella Díaz (as Mónica, Mateo’s second wife); and Zoe Arévalo (as Sofía, Mateo’s daughter from his first marriage).

I’m pretty sure there’s a checklist for screenwriters working on haunted house and/or possession movies. No Estamos Solos faithfully checks all the boxes, to include some scenes that look so familiar I’m pretty sure they were lifted from other films. On the plus side, the film is short (76 minutes), so I didn’t have to wait long for the bumps, chills, and predictable confrontation between Padre Rafael (played by Lucho Cáceres) and the forces of evil.

Rather than another monster for The Cthulhu Hack, here are a dozen things that can happen in a haunted house, as filtered through the prism of AD&D spells.

Tags: AD&D, horror, place of power

At that time Jesus exclaimed, “I bless you, Father, Lord of heaven and of earth, for hiding these things from the learned and the clever and revealing them to little children.” (The Gospel According to St. Matthew 11-25)

Apophatic Facade
Spell Level: Cleric, 1st Level
Range: 120 feet
Duration: Until dispelled or an attack is made

The object of this spell, whether a person or a thing, becomes invisible to both the normal sight and darkvision of Chaotic creatures. A non-Chaotic creature can see the target if that creature fails its saving throw against the spell. An invisible creature cannot be attacked unless its approximate location is known, and all attacks are made at -4 to hit. If the invisible creature makes an attack, the spell is broken. Otherwise, it lasts until dispelled or removed by the caster.

Pilkullinen

The Great Northern Forest’s full extent remains a mystery. It is an inhospitable land of rugged, wooden terrain subject to heavy precipitation, especially during the latter spring and fall months. A few days west by northwest of Mirror Rock is a shallow, wide valley into which flows several small streams. These streams feed into Pilkullinen, an alkali lake with remarkable properties. Pilkullinen is shallow for most of its length and breadth, perhaps no more than several yards deep except during the heaviest of rainy seasons. The lake drains into marshes along its southern and eastern shores. During the shorter dry seasons, much of Pilkullinen evaporates or drains away, revealing dozens of large, natural pools. The strange minerals in the lake concentrate in these pools, and impart upon the waters healing powers. Unfortunately, the savage and xenophobic barbarians native to the region believe their fierce gods gave Pilkullinen to them alone, and they zealously guard it against trespassers.

Anyone who soaks in one of the large, natural pools for 1d4 hours may benefit from the lake’s special qualities. Roll on the following table and apply the results.

Pilkullinen’s Powers

1: Cures all diseases and heals 2d6+2 hit points.
2: Cures all diseases and heals 1d6+1 hit points.
3: Heals 2d6+2 hit points.
4: Heals 1d6+1 hit points.
5: Boosts health. +1 saves versus disease and poison for a day.
6: Strengthens will. +1 saves versus charm and fear for a day.

Tags: Catholic, place of power, spells, Swords & Wizardry

This week, I’ve posted thrice about Galgenbaum, a fantasy town ruled by Mayor-Justices who long ago bound minor death gods via contract to help defend the town. Galgenbaum is a magistracy, a community ruled by judges and their subordinate judicial officials. At least on the surface, Galgenbaum is a well-ordered, disciplined town, but, as Circero observed, “More law, less justice.”

My musings this week about Galgenbaum included pondering just what sorts of laws the town would have. Writing up a body of legal precedents and statutes is well beyond the scope of this blog, but I was reminded of Chaotic Shiny. If you’re not acquainted with this site, give it a visit. Chaotic Shiny offers numerous random generators for categories such as alphabet, RPG class, and ballads.

Curious, I generated ten laws using Chaotic Shiny’s Law Generator. Here’re the results:

The penalty for attempting bribery is a warning.

The penalty for a guild leader trespassing is execution.

At first glance, some of these seem appropriate, some seem interesting, and at least one seems silly. Take a gander at the eighth one about plotting against the royalty. Really? You get off with a warning? Absurd? On the surface, sure, but it did make me think.

The first function of the law is to instruct the citizenry, especially the young, about what is acceptable and not acceptable. In this respect, the tired canard that one cannot legislate morality becomes glaringly untrue. If the primary function of law is to teach about right and wrong, then one cannot help but legislate morality. With that in mind, what sort of community would punish plotting against the royalty with a warning?

Well, it seems fairly obvious that the community would be one that places little value on being royal. It would be a community that encourages plotting against the royalty. This doesn’t mean that the royalty don’t serve their usual functions within the community. The king is still the king, but His Majesty’s power and authority are subordinate in the community’s esteem regarding a well-executed plot against the royal family and its interests. The crime isn’t in the plotting against the royalty; the crime is in getting caught, and getting caught is embarrassing. One should be ashamed of oneself for not being devious enough to get away with whatever it was one was trying to get away with.

There’s probably an adventure idea in there….

Tags: Chaotic Shiny, place of power