Spes Magna Games

What follows is a short speech I gave at my the party celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary. The picture embiggens if clicked.

As you know, Trina and I celebrate our 25th anniversary with you here today. As we prepared for today’s festivities, I had cause to reflect on life and love. Trina is certainly the love of my life, but she was not my first love. I saw my first love in a movie theater way back in 1977. We didn’t get a chance to speak, although I would later imagine what we would have talked about. I still smile when I remember her, this first love of mine.

And she still impresses me, a bit more than 40 years later. Of course, she was beautiful. But, more importantly, she was brave. She was forthright. She was committed to making the world a better in place, but not in some grandiose way. She was no utopian dreamer. Instead, she was practical. She saw a problem, and she did not hesitate to be the one to stand up say, “This is wrong. I’ll fix it.”

There are many reasons why my first love remained unrequited. First, I was 10. Also, her love belonged to another. For a long time, I couldn’t understand what she saw in him, this Bernard. He was a bumbler. He was a bit of a coward. He was kind of dull.

But, as I watched and learned, I saw that my first love’s love for that dull bumbler had an amazing effect. Her love for him made him a better person. He bumbled less. He acted with bravery and honor. His dullness transformed into a sharpness of character.

Part of me still loves my first love. Part of me will always love her. By now, you’re all wondering, who was this remarkable lady? Trina is wondering as well, because I forbade her to read this little speech.

So, I’ll tell you. My first love was none other than Miss Bianca, the Hungarian representative to the Rescue Aid Society, that remarkable organization of mice featured in Disney’s The Rescuers and The Rescuers Down Under.

At age 10, I was in love with a cartoon mouse. It was a relationship doomed before it could ever start. But don’t be sad. I found my Miss Bianca, and she is everything that cartoon mouse was and more.

The Church teaches us that marriage is a channel by which God’s grace works the lives of the family. How true this is. Without Trina playing Miss Bianca to my Bernard, voiced by the legendary Bob Newhart, I would not be the man I am today. I’m convinced that whatever man I might have been would be both a sad and a poor man.

Tags: Catholic, Not Gaming Related

Some of the time, I think I’m in the wrong line of work. I mean, I can write, maybe not well, but certainly well enough to, say, churn out a remake of 1981’s laughably bad Blood Beach. What that’s, you say? Who in their right mind would remark Blood Beach? Well, you’ll have to ask Alex Greenfield and Ben Powell that question. My guess is that they wrote the laughably bad The Sand for the money, which presumably means there’s money to be made writing horrible movies. I wonder if The Asylum is hiring?

Presenting the Sand Monster for both Mutant Future and AD&D.

Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 45′ (15′), burrow 30′ (10′), swim 120′ (40′)
Armor Class: 9
Hit Dice: 18
Attacks: 1 (tendrils) or 4 (tentacles)
Damage: Paralysis or 2d6
Save: L9
Morale: 9
Hoard Class: None
XP: 9,000

Mutations: Burrowing, Gigantism, Unique Sense (vibrations)

The sand monster is an enormous mutant jellyfish that has adapted to life underground as well as in the water. Predatory and voracious, the sand monster burrows under a beach, lurking a few feet beneath the sand. It then spreads out its tentacles and tendrils, covering a 45-foot radius. Then, it lurks out of sight, using its highly attuned ability to sense vibrations to target its prey, which it tries to ambush. It prefers to attack with its tendrils, dozens of slender extensions that are covered with stinging cells that deliver a Class 11 poison (failed save causes 2d6 rounds of paralysis while a successful save results in half movement for 1d6 rounds). Against a helpless target, these tendrils shred flesh, killing the helpless victim in 1 round. If the sand monster abandons its subsurface position, it attacks with its powerful tentacles. These supple limbs can reach up to 30 feet, and they are also covered with the same type of stinging cells found on the tendrils.

Frequency: Very rare
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: 9
Move: 3″//12″ (3″)
Hit Dice: 18
% in Lair: 85%
Treasure Type: Nil
No. of Attacks: 1 or 4
Damage/Attack: Paralysis or 2-12
Special Attacks: Paralyzation
Special Defenses: Nil
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Non-
Alignment: Neutral
Size: L (15′ long with 30′ long tentacles)
Psionic Ability: Nil
Attack/Defens Modes: Nil
Level/XP Value: IX/6,550 + 25/hp

The sand monster is a strange sort of giant jellyfish adapted to life beneath the sands of beaches. This monster burrows a few feet beneath the sand and then spreads out, covering about a 45-foot radius. It senses vibrations within this radius and uses those vibrations to target its prey. The sand monster usually attacks with its tendrils, the sting of which force a saving throw against poison to avoid 2-12 rounds of paralysis. Even if the saving throw is successful, the victim is slowed for 1-6 rounds. If the sand monster leaves its hiding place beneath the sand, it attacks with four powerful tentacles, each of which can reach up to 30 feet. A tentacle inflicts 2-12 points of damage and also carries the same poison as the tendrils.

Tags: 1E AD&D, monsters, Mutant Future

Did you know I’ve released another PDF? Well, you do now.

Get your copy of Demi-Human Adventurers today, and expand your Swords & Wizardry White Box fantasy game with four new character classes: the Dwarf, the Elf, the Gnome, and the Halfling. Each race-as-class option presents ten levels of demi-human adventuring to thrill and delight your fellow gamers.

Next, an update on the domestic front. The Powers That Be that oversee the homeschooling program hosted by my parish have approved my “Introduction to Story Games” course. In addition to teaching writing and editing skills, we’ll also game. I have both Skill Centric Role Play by David Holmes and Hero Kids by Hero Forge Games en route to the house.

Huzzah!

On the movie front, I’ve recently watched 1959’s soporific Invasion of the Animal People, starring Barbara Wilson, Robert Burton, and Stan Gester, and, once again, the voice of John Carradine. Bumpy headed aliens invade Lapland, unleashing a giant shaggy monster that doesn’t do much more than lumber about and growl. I’ve heard that Rymdinvasion i Lappland, the original Swedish version, is better. It certainly couldn’t be worse.

Presenting the Bumpy-Headed Alien and the Animal Person, the first for Mutant Future and the second for Swords & Wizardry White Box.

Bumpy-Headed Alien
Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 120′ (40′)
Armor Class: 8
Hit Dice: 6
Attacks: 1 (weapon)
Damage: weapon
Save: L6
Morale: 7
Hoard Class: XVIII
XP: 1,070

Mutations: Ability Boost (WIL), Empathy, plus one other beneficial mutation

The bumpy-headed alien might not be an alien; it could be a Mutant Human. Regardless, it possesses impressive mental abilities (2d4+10 INT and 2d6+6 WIL). By focusing its mental energies, the bumpy-headed alien increases its willpower, making its empathic powers even more dangerous. The bumpy-headed alien often has access to technology combined with knowledge about how to use it.

Animal Person
Armor Class: 4 [15]
Hit Dice: 10
Attacks: Claw or Stomp (2d6)
Special: Immune to cold and piercing weapons
Move: 12
Save: 9
HDE/XP: 11/1,700

An animal person stands nearly 20 feet tall. Covered with long, shaggy fur, it walks on two blunt, elephantine feet. In combat, it attacks with its powerful claws or else stomps on its victim. An animal person is impervious to cold, and it cannot be harmed by piercing weapons such as arrows or spears.

Tags: monsters, Mutant Future, Swords & Wizardry, WhiteBox Adventures

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Management was as efficient as usual. Guxem Bogdani. The man with the camera. The man in the room who filmed Jones murder Sharon. Bogdani procured young girls, usually runaways or undocumented immigrants. He had served time in both U.S. and Albanian jails.

Jared leaned against the bus stop shelter’s exterior. He wore jeans, running shoes, a sweatshirt with the hood pulled up. He’d slung a backpack across one shoulder. He watched across the street. It was nearly lunch time. The parking lot across the street was half full, mostly with economy-class cars belonging to the people in the laundromat. Next door to the laundromat stood Shqipëri, a restaurant.

The picture window was mirrored. The Albanian flag, red with black, two-headed eagle, painted on the window. One public entrance. Bogdani had just arrived. He stood near his BMW, Italian suit shining in the mid-day sun. Two other men were with him. A third exited the restaurant as he neared the door. Hugs all around. Old friends meeting for lunch.

Jared recognized the third man. The pictures in the hall outside Jones’s bedroom. One showed Jones standing shoulder to shoulder with an older man, his full head of silver hair impeccably styled, a gold nugget pinky ring glinting the light of the flash.

“Who is he?” Jared said as he crossed the street. Jones followed, modestly covering his genitals even though no one driving or walking by could see him.

“Tom Jaworski. He’s a senior partner at Felkin. He was my mentor.”

Jared walked slowly past the parking lot, noting the make, model, and license plate number of the Escalade into which Jaworski climbed.

“He’s one of you, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Jones admitted, and Jared detected for the first time a hint of shame in his voice. “He’s the one who, uh, introduced me to my first girl.”

A couple of women, arms laden with boutique shopping bags approached Jared along the sidewalk, looking at him worriedly. The one closest to him clutched her purse a bit more tightly. Jared smiled and touched the brim of his cap.

“Ladies.”

They picked up their pace, their heels clacking on the concrete. A few steps later, Jared was behind the wheel of his car. Jones sat in the front passenger’s seat.

“Why is Jaworski meeting Bogdani?”

Jones turned away, staring out the window, biting his lower lip, but it didn’t help. He still answered. “They must be arranging another party. Tom doesn’t trust e-mail or phones for the arrangements.”

Jones turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb into traffic.

“Tell me about these parties. Be thorough.”

Jones was, and Jared fought back the urge to send the ghost away rather than listen to the confession. The “parties” were nothing of the sort. They involved a cabal of wealthy, well-placed men from several cities. Men of influence, men of renown. Most would be described as pillars of a community. All of them were rapists. Many of them were sadists. More than a few were murderers. And Bogdani and his organization provided the girls upon which these men’s lusts fed. This same organization also provided the location and the security for the evening’s depravities.

“I don’t know,” Jones said. Tears wet his face. “I’ve never been to one of the parties. Tom’s told me about them. Said I’d be on the guest list ‘soon’ if things worked out.”

“By ‘worked out’, you mean if you killed Sharon?”

Jones’s jaw trembled. He nodded. “But I don’t know where the party will be held. You, you killed me before I was told.”

Jared pulled into a grocery store’s parking lot, and parked in the closest space. Engine idling, air conditioning blowing cool air, he nevertheless felt warm. He closed his eyes, rubbed the sides of his neck with his fingers. The thud thud of pain behind his eyes matched his pulse.

“How do you find out the time and place?”

Jones shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess Tom would tell me. Like I said, he prefers face-to-face. No way he’d call or e-mail. Not about something like this.”

Jared punched the steering wheel. The horn barked. Jones flinched.

“Go away, damn you.”

Jared sat in his car with nothing but his pain and anger.

Tags: fiction, Lilacs

All Spes Magna Games products are still on-sale this month for at least 25% off their regular prices so that I can help you help me celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary. Huzzah!

But I digress.

Earlier this week, I pulled my AD&D Deities & Demigods off the shelf. What a great book, but also a strange book. Much ink, virtual and real, has been spilled over the idea of giving gods and goddesses stat blocks, as if they were a new category of monster to be defeated by adventurers. While I agree that the idea of any group of adventurers facing down the likes of Odin or Ares in combat is absurd, I also cannot ignore the examples in myth of mortals facing down deities and living to tell the tale. Diomedes, for examples, injures Ares in battle, stabbing the god of war in the belly with a spear. (Yes, yes, I know that Diomedes had divine assistance in this task.)

Deities & Demigods also includes several magic items, some on the level of artifacts and relics, as well as more traditional monsters that could serve as foes or allies for adventurers. I remember our characters fighting minions of Set during part of (I3) Pharaoh (one of the best AD&D modules ever published).

Flipping through the pages of Deities & Demigods inspired me to write what follows. Enjoy!

Sacred Bundle
Wondrous item, legendary (requires attunement by a barbarian, fighter, paladin, or ranger)

Only a tribal priest aided by a summoned spirit can create a sacred bundle, and each sacred bundle is created for a specific warrior. The sacred bundle appears to be a satchel made of animal hide, decorated with beads and embroidery. It contains 1d6+4 items, all but one chosen by the summoned spirit. The tribal priest creating the sacred bundle chooses the final item in the satchel. The warrior for whom the sacred bundle is made must collect the items, and they’re all dangerous or difficult to acquire. For example, the warrior may have to collect “a rattle from a cave of giant snakes, a feather from a high nesting giant eagle, or the hair of 13 enemies killed in battle”. When all necessary items are collected, the tribal priest places them in the satchel and sews it shut.

As long as the warrior carries the sacred bundle, he makes all saving throws and Wisdom (Perception) checks with advantage. All melee and ranged weapon attacks against the warrior are made with disadvantage. Furthermore, the warrior has resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage.

And, now, a new legendary monster: the Thunder Bird!

Immortal. The thunder bird cannot be killed. Even if slain, it appears again, ready to fight evil anew.

Omen. The thunder bird’s appearance warns of great evil, and the thunder bird itself often takes part in the battle against this evil.

Servant of None. The thunder bird cannot be summoned or compelled to act. It is its own creature.

Thunder Bird
Large celestial, chaotic good

Armor Class 22 (natural armor)
Hit Points 202 (27d10+54)
Speed 45 ft., fly 90 ft.
Ability Scores STR 22 (+6), DEX 23 (+6), CON 15 (+2), INT 18 (+4), WIS 16 (+3), CHA 17 (+3)

Saving Throws STR +11, CON +7, WIS +8
Skills Perception +8
Damage Immunities lightning, thunder
Senses passive Perception 18
Languages Auran, Celestial, Common
Challenge 16 (15,000 XP)

Independent. The thunder bird is immune to any magical effect that would influence its emotions, thoughts, or will. Charisma checks made to influence the thunder bird are made with disadvantage.

Keen Sight. The thunder bird has advantage of Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on sight.

Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If the thunder bird fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead.

Rejuvenation. If it dies, the thunder bird returns to life in 1d6 years and regains all of its hit points. Not even a wish can prevent this trait from functioning.

Actions

Multiattack. The thunder bird makes two attacks: once with its beak and once with its wings.

Beak. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 17 (2d10+6) slashing damage plus 5 (1d10) lightning damage.

Wings. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 28 (4d10+6) bludgeoning damage plus 11 (2d10) lightning damage.

Lightning Breath (Recharge 5-6). The thunder bird exhales lightning in a 120-foot line that is 5 feet wide. Each creature in that line must make a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw, taking 36 (8d8) lightning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Legendary Actions

The thunder bird can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. The thunder bird regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.

Detect. The thunder bird makes a Wisdom (Perception) check.

Thunderclap (Costs 2 Actions). The thunder bird strikes its wings together, creating a powerful clap of thunder. Each creature within 250 feet of the thunder bird and able to hear the thunderclap must make a DC 16 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 36 (8d8) thunder damage and is knocked prone. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and isn’t knocked prone.

Whirlwind (Costs 2 Actions). The thunder bird surrounds itself with roaring winds. Each creature within 10 feet of the thunder bird must make a DC 16 Strength saving throw. On a failure, the target takes 27 (6d8) bludgeoning damage and is flung 30 feet away from the thunder bird in a random direction and knocked prone. If a thrown target strikes an object, such as a wall or floor, the target takes 3 (1d6) bludgeoning damage for every 10 feet thrown. If the target is thrown at another creature, that creature must succeed at a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw or take the same damage and be knocked prone. If the saving throw is successful, the target takes half the bludgeoning damage and isn’t flung away or knocked prone.

Tags: 5E D&D, Deities & Demigods, magic items, monsters