My students recently wrote haikus, tankas, limericks, and Elizabethan sonnets about cheese. The True The Gouda The Beautiful collects these 34 of these poems in a single volume of grade A, pasteurized poetic excellence.
Download your copy today!
February’s Quid Novi? featured some more free content for Pathfinder. Here’re some excerpts, the first two having been written by Shane “Alzrius” O’Connor.
A New Oracle’s Curse
Clumsy: You are terribly uncoordinated, and tend to trip over your own feet. Whenever you take more than a 5-foot step, you must make a DC 10 Dexterity check or fall prone at the end of your movement; you may not take 10 on this check. The DC rises to 12 if you make a double move or withdraw action, or 15 if you run. You may stand up as a swift action that does not provoke an attack of opportunity. At 5th level, you ignore rough terrain. At 10th level, you gain evasion. At 15th level, you are under a permanent freedom of movement.
A New Feat
Hurl Weapon (Combat)
You can throw weapons very far.
Benefit: You can throw weapons up to ten range increments.
About this feat, Shane wrote, “Pathfinder inherited the bow’s status as king of ranged weapons. While there are specialized builds that help make other distance-weapons usable, I was surprised that nothing had been done to let thrown weapon-wielders close the gap in terms of available range increments. I was initially going to set a Strength prerequisite on this feat, the pretext being that you needed to be strong to hurl a weapon so far. However, that seemed too punitive with regard to alchemists and other characters that are likely to have thrown weapons but not necessarily a high Strength. Given that thrown weapons have shorter range increments than projectile weapons, and how few ranged combats take place at more than five range increments anyway, it seemed like a good idea to give this feat the broadest availability possible.”
If you like Shane’s stuff (and who wouldn’t?), check out his great blog, Intelligence Check.
And now for some of what I wrote!
Bazaar of the Bizarre – You Look Mah-velous!
Froderick was an illusionist with a reputation for insanity that varied between whimsical to dangerous. This item is an example more on the former end of the spectrum. It appears to be a fabulously colored feathered boa of the type worn by certain exotic dancers. Its gaudy appearance hides potent magical powers.
Froderick’s Beauteous Feather Boa
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot shoulders; Price 7,800 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description: This fashionable feather boa has two properties. When worn, it provides a +2 enhancement bonus to Charisma. Treat this as a temporary ability bonus for the first 24 hours the belt is worn. Upon command, the feather boa animates to fight as Medium animated object with the grab and constriction special attacks.
The feather boa can maintain its animated status for only 24 hours per week, but the duration need not be continuous. If the feather boa is broken or destroyed in its normal form, it is forever ruined. All magic is lost; its power departed. If slain in animated form, the feather boa simply reverts to an item of apparel that can be used again at a later time.
Construction Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects, eagle’s splendor; Cost 3,900 gp.
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In its full splendor, the pleasure garden was a wonder to visit. Townsfolk once congregated there regularly to enjoy the various entertainments presented in the small concert hall or upon one of the several bandstands. The cleverly trimmed topiaries delighted children, and the centerpiece, a hedge maze, provided fleeting privacy for young lovers to steal a kiss or two. All of this was before the tragic fire in the concert hall that claimed the lives of several townsfolk. One of those killed was a gnome lass betrothed to an emotionally unstable illusionist. The couple had argued earlier that day. The lass went to the pleasure garden alone while her beau sulked at home. When he found out his love had died, the illusionist was inconsolable. He took his own life in the center of the hedge maze a couple of days later. His anguished spirit now jealously guards the decaying pleasure garden.
Haunted Pleasure Garden
CR 12; XP 19,200
CN persistent haunt (60-foot-radius pleasure garden; on the map, this is everywhere within the blue circle)
Caster Level 12th
Notice Perception DC 25 (shadowy robed figure)
hp 54; Trigger proximity; Reset 1 hour
Effect: The haunt uses material from the Plane of Shadow to shape quasi-real illusions of one or more creatures, objects, or forces. The haunt can mimic any sorcerer or wizard conjuration (summoning) or conjuration (creation) spell of 6th level or lower. These shadow conjurations are three-fifths (60%) as strong as the real things, though creatures who believe the shadow conjurations to be real are affected by them at full strength. Any creature that interacts with the spell can make a Will save (DC 20) to recognize its true nature.
Spells that deal damage have normal effects unless the affected creature succeeds on a Will save. Each disbelieving creature takes three-fifths (60%) damage from the attack. If the disbelieved attack has a special effect other than damage, that effect is 60% likely to occur. Regardless of the result of the save to disbelieve, an affected creature is also allowed any save that the spell being simulated allows, but the save DC always equals 20. In addition, any effect created by haunt’s shadow conjuration allows Spell Resistance, even if the spell it is simulating does not. Shadow objects or substances have normal effects except against those who disbelieve them. Against disbelievers, they are 60% likely to work.
A shadow creature has one-fifth the hit points of a normal creature of its kind (regardless of whether it’s recognized as shadowy). It deals normal damage and has all normal abilities and weaknesses. Against a creature that recognizes it as a shadow creature, however, the shadow creature’s damage is three-fifths (60%) normal, and all special abilities that do not deal lethal damage are 60% likely to work. (Roll for each use and each affected character separately.) Furthermore, the shadow creature’s AC bonuses are just one-fifth as large. A creature that succeeds on its save sees the shadow conjurations as transparent images superimposed on vague, shadowy forms. Objects automatically succeed on their Will saves against the haunt’s shadow conjurations.
Unlike most haunts, this haunt has a sort of innate cunning. It selects effects with intelligence, preferring to divide and conquer groups of trespassers. For example, it might use walls of iron to separate party members from each other, followed by summon monster VI to send shadow creatures after weaker targets while relying on acid fog to slow down and harm others. Of course, the haunt is limited to one effect per round.
Destruction: The bones of the gnome illusionist and his love must be brought to the center of the hedge maze and blessed.
In November’s Quid Novi?, I wrote up a micro-adventure featuring a hunting flock of dire corbies. I was inspired by one of Dyson Logos’s many wonderful maps over at A Character For Every Game, specifically his Little Goat Pass map. If you’ve never had the thrill of sliding admiring eyes along the lines and curves of Dyson Logos’s maps, you owe it to yourself to do so now. When you’re done, the rest of this post will still be here.
Little Goat Pass: A Micro-Adventure
Little Goat Pass rises from the main road leading north along the rugged hills up to a high valley once cherished for its lush vegetation and sweet, natural spring. For decades, the goatherds of the lowland communities would head up the pass with their flocks, all but ignoring the ancient fortifications built into the western cliff. In recent weeks, however, access to the high valley via Little Goat Pass has become impossible. A dire corby hunting flock has occupied the ancient fortifications.
The hunting flock is led by Brennus, a dread corby barbarian, and his two dread corby lieutenants. Brennus also commands 10 normal dire corbies, and he has trained a black bear to act as a sentry and hunting animal. Under Brennus’s leadership, the hunting flock has attacked passers-by where the road and trail meet. The monsters then haul their loot back to their lair.
North Group
Heading up the trail to the high valley, travelers pass by this group of chambers carved into the cliff. Brennus has stationed the bulk of his forces here. Four dire corbies stand guard in the entry chamber at all times. They are the arrow slits to check on who’s passing on the trail. 1d3-1 dread corby lieutenants are inspecting the guards at any given time.
The room north of the entry chamber is used by the dire corbies as a barracks. 1d6-1 other dire corbies are off duty in this room at any given time.
Dread corby lieutentants and dire corbies not on duty who are not in this group of chambers are either on the trails (25%), in the west group (50%), or in the south group (25%).
Brennus rewards his followers well. The dire corbies have a goodly amount of treasure: a phial of exotic perfume (525 gp), an outfit of royal clothing (200 gp), a false bottom chest (50 gp) concealing an illustrated book of poetry (40 gp) and a potion of cure light wounds, a masterwork backpack (50 gp), a set of armor spikes (50 gp), an arcane scroll (grease, phantom steed, CL 5th), four skyrocket fireworks (50 gp each), and 780 gp of various coins, gems, and jewelry.
West Group
The entry chamber here is used by the dread corby lieutenants. The westernmost portion of the room holds their nests; the eastern part is used for meals, games, and meetings.
Brennus lairs in the southern chambers. He uses the two smaller rooms for storage and for a crude altar to the various evil powers he worships. At any given time, Brennus is either in these chambers (65%), on the trail (5%), in the north group (10%), in the south group (10%), or visting his bear (10%).
Brennus’s trained black bear is kept in the caves opposite the west group of chambers. It has been taught the following tricks: attack, defend, down, fetch, guard, and track.
Southern Group
The dire corbies don’t have a constant presence in this chambers. They have yet to find the secret door in the cave. Every now and then, some of the dire corbies hang out here. Cracks and loose rock mar the trail in front of the caves. Although the terrain looks dangerous, it’s relatively stable. Count the area as rough terrain.
The secret chamber was once used as a treasure room by the ancient fortifications’ builders. It still holds some of this treasure: an arcane scroll (hold portal, sleet storm, CL 5th), a divine scroll (hide from undead, goodberry, CL 1st), plus 140 gp of various gems and 100 gp of assorted coins.
Brennus
CR 5; XP 1,600
Male dread corby barbarian 3
NE Medium monstrous humanoid
Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +8
DEFENSE
AC 22, touch 14, flat-footed 18 (+4 armor, +4 Dex, +4 natural)
hp 61 (2d10+10 plus 3d12+15)
Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +5
Defensive Abilities ferocity, trap sense +1, uncanny dodge; Immune fear
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft., climb 30 ft. (40 ft. unarmored)
Melee 2 claws +8 (1d4+9) (Power Attack)
Ranged masterwork composite longbow +10 (1d8+6/x3)
Special Attacks intimidating glare, leap, rage (13 rounds/day), rend (2 claws, 1d4+5)
STATISTICS
Str 21, Dex 18, Con 21, Int 11, Wis 12, Cha 16
Base Atk +5; CMB +8; CMD 22
Feats Blind-Fight, Intimidating Prowess, Power Attack
Skills Acrobatics +18, Climb +19, Handle Animal +9, Intimidate +14, Perception +8, Stealth +7; Racial Modifiers +8 Acrobatics, +2 Perception; Armor Check Penalty -2
Languages Aklo
N.B. Melee, CMB, and CMD include -2 attack roll and +4 damage for Power Attack. When raging, add +4 Str, +4 Con, +2 morale bonus to Will saves, +10 hit points, +2 Fortitude saves, +2 attack rolls and damage with melee, and +2 Climb and Intimidate.
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Intimidating Glare: Brennus can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe as a move action. If he successfully demoralizes his opponent, the foe is shaken for 1d4 rounds + 1 round for every 5 points by which his check exceeds the DC.
Leap (Ex): A dire corby can perform a special kind of pounce attack by jumping into combat. When a dire corby charges, it can make a DC 20 Acrobatics check to jump into the air and land next to its enemies. If it makes the Acrobatics check, it can make a full attack against foes in reach.
Screech of Doom (Su): Once per day, a dread corby can loose a horrible shriek that terrifies its opponents. The dread corby can target one creature within 30 feet. This target must make a DC 15 Will save or be frozen in fear, cowering for 1d6 rounds. Any other creatures within 100 feet must make a DC 12 Will save or be frightened for 1d4 rounds. Those who make the save are shaken for 1 round. Dire corbies and dread corbies are immune to this effect. This is a sonic mind-affecting fear effect. The save DC is Charisma-based.
GEAR
+1 arrows (x15), masterwork composite longbow (Str 21), masterwork hide armor, potion of cure moderate wounds, tanglefoot bags (x2), thunderstones (x2), quiver, 5 normal arrows, plus 185 gp of other stuff
Dread Corby Lieutenants (x3)
CR 2; XP 600
NE Medium monstrous humanoid
Init +3; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +9
DEFENSE
AC 20, touch 13, flat-footed 17 (+3 armor, +3 Dex, +4 natural)
hp 19 (2d10+8)
Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +5
Defensive Abilities ferocity; Immune fear
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft., climb 30 ft.
Melee 2 claws +5 (1d4+3)
Ranged javelin +5 (1d6+3)
Special Attacks leap, rend (2 claws, 1d4+3)
STATISTICS
Str 17, Dex 16, Con 19, Int 11, Wis 14, Cha 12
Base Atk +2; CMB +5; CMD 18
Feats Blind-Fight
Skills Acrobatics +16, Climb +16, Perception +9, Stealth +8; Racial Modifiers +8 Acrobatics, +2 Perception
Languages Aklo
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Leap (Ex): A dire corby can perform a special kind of pounce attack by jumping into combat. When a dire corby charges, it can make a DC 20 Acrobatics check to jump into the air and land next to its enemies. If it makes the Acrobatics check, it can make a full attack against foes in reach.
Screech of Doom (Su): Once per day, a dread corby can loose a horrible shriek that terrifies its opponents. The dread corby can target one creature within 30 feet. This target must make a DC 13 Will save or be frozen in fear, cowering for 1d6 rounds. Any other creatures within 100 feet must make a DC 12 Will save or be frightened for 1d4 rounds. Those who make the save are shaken for 1 round. Dire corbies and dread corbies are immune to this effect. This is a sonic mind-affecting fear effect. The save DC is Charisma-based.
GEAR
masterwork studded leather, javelins (x2), one of the following potions: potion of cure moderate wounds, potion of cat’s grace, potion of bear’s endurance, plus 75 gp of other stuff
It’s been awfully quiet around this site lately. In the real world, however, it’s been one thing after another. Of course, with the school year having begun, I’m back in the classroom. I’m still at Aristoi Classical Academy and still teaching 5th grade, but this year I’m concentrating on English grammar, reading comprehension, literature, and history. Nearly half my students are new to the school, and it’s almost always quite an adjustment for new students. Classical education is not what other public schools tend to do. Since it’s quite an adjustment for many of my students, it’s also been quite an adjustment for me. On top of the challenges that I must help my students face, we’ve also got a ton of new curriculum materials that I have to read and process. I’ve been teaching since 1996, and I don’t think I’ve ever been this busy as a teacher.
Speaking of school, my son Giant Boy has started high school. The local public school is not up to our standards. The private schools are too expensive (even with tuition assistance). Over the summer, while my wife Katrina and I pondered what to do, Katrina discovered that our parish runs a homeschooling program. Color me surprised. We checked it out, and it’s a great fit to what Giant Boy needs. One day a week, he attends school. The teachers who volunteer for the program include tenured professors, retired teachers, and grad students. One of those tenured professors taught a class on Virgil I took when I was in college. The teachers give the students agendas for a week’s worth of reading and work, and there is a high degree of rigor in what they’re expected to do. It’s not easy for any of us, especially since my wife and I only have homeschooling time in the evenings and on the weekends, but Giant Boy is doing well. Best of all, he’s getting to take some classes that really target his interests in history and theology.
Before Giant Boy started this program, I was working with him on biology, Oedipus Rex, and part of Will Eisner’s now-published course materials for graphic storytelling. We really need to get back to these classes. I’m shooting for starting these back up after New Year’s. Of course, that means more work for me. Busy, busy.
Also, I’m still running the “We’re Not in Arkansas Anymore!” campaign for my Man-Day group. We’ve not been meeting as regularly as normal, however. Seems like the busy-bug has bitten more than just me. I’m a session or two behind on updating the campaign log. That another item on my Get Done List.
To top everything off, I guess I need to explain the picture to the right. Last Sunday, 9 October, on the way home from Mass, I had a myocardial infarction. The scariest part of the entire ordeal was the needles. I’m absolutely terrified of needles. The chest pains? Unpleasant but bearable. The shortness of breath? Irritating, certainly, but not that bad. Having an IV put into my arm? That was enough to reduce me to frightened sobs. The oddest part of the experience was the fact that the cardiologists (and we have some of the best cardiologists in the world here in Houston) couldn’t find any cause for the heart attack. I have zero risk factors: no smoking, no drug abuse, no significant family history, no high blood pressure, no arterial blockages, no irregular heartbeat, et cetera. I guess I’m just lucky.
I’m out of the hospital now. I was back at work after missing only one day (since Columbus Day was a holiday to begin with). I’m on a daily regimen of some pretty standard meds, plus I get to carry nitroglycerin just in case the chest pains return (or I need to blow up something small).
In other words, to make a long story short, I’ve not gotten any Spes Magna writing done lately. With luck, and a little creative time management, that should change over the next few weeks. Dodeca-Weather is still at the top of my Get Done List. I’ve got four pages of notes from playtesters and proofreaders to consider before the final PDF gets released. I’d like to say it’s going to get done by the end of the month. Who knows? Maybe it will.
